what’s wrong with me? where the fuck did my self control go? I hate my appearance and life and basically world right now.
I just want to be at peace. I want to stop feeling so shitty all the time. I want to stop caring about everyone who doesn’t care about me. I want to get my fucking school done and sleep at normal hours. I want to stop playing Russian roulette
with my toilet bowl. I want to be happy. why can’t I be happy? the thought of suicide creeps up on me more and more as the days go on and I don’t know how I’ve become such an unhappy person by doing absolutely nothing but being good